Something Wild

I don’t know if this is true for everyone, but throughout my late teens to present day, there has been one man that has been a constant presence in my musical tastes and personal growth. Andrew McMahon. From the early days of Something Corporate, through Jack’s Mannequin, and now onto Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness, he’s always been there. I remember in the early aughts hopping in someone’s car and driving to DC for the day to see them. I remember getting Mike into them and his surprise that he loved the music, all the way to introducing my (much younger) brother to their music and dragging him to an AMITW show earlier this year, which he loved.

His music has always spoke to me. I know it sounds stupid, but I feel a lot of it in my soul. These are the songs I sing along to at the top of my lungs in my car. I remember listening to the albums for the first time when they came out and thinking “Whoa, these guys get it.”

That brings me to today.

He did a collab with violinist Lindsey Stirling to produce the song “Something Wild.” I had no idea this song existed until Mike was cruising through Apple Music and came across it. He quickly sent it to me. He knew immediately that between my love of Andrew McMahon and my love of Lindsey Stirling I would immediately love it.

I did.

Being a classical trained former violinist the melody line that Stirling plays just makes me vibrate inside. It’s beautiful. Haunting and yet uplifting at the same time. But the lyrics… sometimes they make me soar. And sometimes they make me sob in my car.

You’ve got a big heart
The way you see the world
It got you this far
You might have some bruises
And a few of scars
But you know you’re gonna be okay

Seriously, give the song a listen. I can’t recommend his entire catalog enough, but this song…. Here’s the YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytMqO-WQpQ4 . And I just learned that it was written for Pete’s Dragon, which is pretty awesome in and of itself.

Sometimes I think that because I spent my entire childhood playing music, listening to music, writing music, that I tend to connect with music on a level that most people don’t. It goes past enjoying it. I feel it. The right song can change or enhance my mood. I know that’s not uncommon, especially for people dealing with the spectrum of mental illness, but I am yet to meet someone that didn’t spend their formative years immersed in music that doesn’t feel this way. Whether it’s metal, jazz, rock, emo, pop… we all have our genres. We all have our artists.

I know that I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but Mike can gauge my mood based on what music I’m listening to. I have this random playlist, it has close to 1000 songs on it, if not more. Everything from the Jonas Brothers new album, to arias from Aida, to punk, pop, rock, classic, alternative, a little bit of jazz, a bunch of musicals, etc. Any time I hear a song I like, I throw it on the playlist. This playlist has been curated for easily more than 10 years. If I’m listening to this, mood is pretty steady. If I’m listening to Walk the Moon, I’m probably in a good mood. If it’s Dashboard Confessional, it’s likely that I’m down. (The age old question “are you listening to Dashboard because you’re sad, or are you sad because you’re listening to Dashboard?”) All Time Low can go either way. If it’s musicals – depends on the musical. Jekyll and Hyde? Kind of dark. Hamilton? Probably more up.

Anyway, this isn’t the point. Actually, to be fair I’m not really sure what the point of that ramble was.

I wonder though, sometimes, if this connection to music isn’t just another symptom of the bipolar disorder. At my last appointment with my therapist we talked about how over the years, for a myriad of reasons I might someday get into, I’ve kind of turned my emotions off. (I think I mentioned the emotion trashcan in my last post). But music is one place that’s always been safe for me to really feel. Interesting. I see him tomorrow, this might be something to bring up.

That’s it for now, I’ll leave you with this —

If you’re lost out where the lights are blinding
Caught in all, the stars are hiding
That’s when something wild calls you home, home
If you face the fear that keeps you frozen
Chase the sky into the ocean
That’s when something wild calls you home, home

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