So I redesigned the blog tonight. Totally revamped. New name, new logo, new design. This blog has morphed far beyond what it was originally intended, like the evolution of a species. That’s a good thing. This has become a therapeutic outlet to get the thoughts out of my head and onto something that lets me analyze things that are going on in my life and in my head.
I’ve talked a lot about relationships recently. With the stay-at-home orders in effect, it’s amazing to me how many people have reached out, even just to chat over the course of the day, or sending memes back and forth. Sometimes I forget how many friends I actually have and how many people genuinely care about me. It’s been a nice reminder.
My mental health is still pretty good, despite everything. I recommitted myself this week to getting back on track with my diet and exercise, as well as organization of my life. I’ve been eating better, working out, tracking meals, etc. I’ve gotten my planner back into use and am actually using it, planning out reasonable things to do every day, for both work life and personal life. I’m reading again, and not just completely mindless crap (don’t judge me – I read a trilogy in a week that was total trash). I’m feeling very motivated in many different areas of my life. I just hope that it lasts.
A big thing for me this week has been music. I made a playlist, which I realized later was mainly a bunch of emo and pop punk love songs, but has very much fit my mood recently. Not necessarily the lyrics, but the tone, the tempo, the feelings. There’s specifically a song by Yellowcard, With You Around, that I’ve been jamming to pretty often. It’s on a Yellowcard album that I didn’t know existed (they kind of fell off of my radar after I graduated in ’09). It’s a warm day, windows down, sing at the top of your lungs kind of song, and that’s exactly what I need in my life right now. It’s a love song-ish, but it makes me think of good days in the car with friends singing loudly headed on an adventure. I hope that we can still have some of those days this summer.
I have a lot of hope for life. I have dreams, things I want to do, places I want to go. Sometimes in the darkness it’s hard to see that. When I’m feeling good I have a zest for life. When I’m not, I want to lay on the couch and eat Oreos. I’m starting to feel good again, the change in season (even though the weather sucks right now), is doing me good. I just hope that things get back to some sense of normalcy so that I can do all of the things that I want to this summer – concerts that we already have tickets to and some that I’m hoping will happen, gardening, sitting on the patio with a cold drink and a good book, bonfires with friends, walks in the park.
I want so many things. I just hope that I get or achieve even half of them.
Stay safe, friends.