Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.Victor Hugo, Les Miserables
The state of the world right now just makes me sad. Right after George Floyd as killed, I stumbled across the video. By the end I was in tears. I could almost read the script of what would come next – peaceful protests hijacked by despicable people with an alternate agenda. The sitting president sticking his head in the sand as often as possible, only to come out to denounce the wrong people. But that disgusting photo op last night at a church he’s probably never set foot in holding a book that he’s never read, along with his declarations of being the ultimate power… how fucking dare he? I try not to hate people; it requires too much energy and thought that I’d rather not give to a person that I dislike that much. But him… I hate him. I hate everything about him, what he stands for, and even the air he breathes. If he were to drop dead of a heart attack, I would not mourn. Well, I’d mourn the fact that Pence gets to call himself President even for a little bit. HATE. I hate that an innocent man lost his life, and a lot of people in this country can’t be assed to care about it. I’m sad, I’m angry, I’m horrified. I wish that we had come further in our 200 and some odd years as a country that none of this crap could happen. Any of it.
And that’s all that I’m going to say on the topic.
In other news I accidentally (sort of) dyed my hair black. I meant to try to do blue, but right after I put the oVertone on, I got a phone call and was on for an hour and a half, and I totally forgot about it. Yep. So I have blueish roots, but the rest of my hair is jet black. In the sun it kind of has blueish highlights, but as it turns out I really dig the black. I’ve been reticent about going this dark for a long time, even as I dyed it progressively darker and darker, black was a threshold I didn’t really want to cross. That being said, it looks damn good, and I really like it. I’ve actually gotten a lot of compliments on it, too. So what started as a collosal mistake turned out to be a happy accident.
I’m having a lot of feelings about a lot of different things right now, and I’m having some trouble working through everything. Some things I’ll probably talk about at some point, some I feel are far too personal to write about. I generally have no compunction about opening up here, but this one thing… I’m just not comfortable with. Some things are just too personal to put out into the world.