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Tomorrow is my birthday

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years

Abraham Lincoln

Well, tomorrow is the day. 38. Two years away from 40. I don’t feel like I’m almost 40.

We had our annual summer party yesterday. It was an amazing time. 25 of our nearest and dearest showed up to help us celebrate. There was tons of food, tons of desserts, and a whole lot of liquor and beer. Despite being drunk as a skunk, I survived the whole night, and had a roaring good time doing it. It’s funny – ages ranged from 20 to mid 50s and everyone just meshed.

It was a nice reminder of all of the amazing people that we have in our lives, even the ones that couldn’t make it for whatever reason. Despite mixing my friends with his friends with our friends, there was very little drama and everyone enjoyed themselves. Nothing like one of your closest friends standing on your back porch and yelling “BIRTHDAY SHOTS!” to get the party going.

These are the people that I need more of in my life. These are the people that love and support me. These people are my family. They’re the ones that I’ve chosen to surround myself with. They’re the ones that I lean on and who lean on me. It’s funny, at one point we somehow got on the subject on my low self-esteem, and I literally had them baffled by it. There’s 2 kids – 20 years old – who we call my adopted sons. At one point one of them two my hands in his, leaned forward, and just told me that I’m amazing and that I need to just understand that. That I’m loved by all of them, and they wouldn’t waste their time on someone that wasn’t worth it. I almost cried. Funny how a kid half my age could get to the heart of the matter, kiss me on the cheek, pour me a drink, and consider the subject closed. I love those kids. And I love my friends.

Sometimes we need those moments in life. We need people that understand where we’re coming from and where we’re going, but also understand that sometimes we all feel that way and just need a gentle reminder that we’re worth it, and a good stiff drink.

At the end of the day, I love my friends. I love being able to spend time with them. Last night was a nice glimpse of what a return to normalcy looks like. And it was a reminder that I missed all of these people terribly over the last few months. I missed seeing their faces in person, and not on an iPad screen. I missed being able to hug them, pull them close and share the love we have for each other. As I’m sure you’ve realized by now, I’m an introvert. But around these people…. they fill my well and give me spoons.

Sometimes it’s nice to be around people that love me for me, not because we’re related or because they have to, but because of who I am. Not who they want me to be, but because of who I am now. And that… that’s a balm to my soul. It’s nice starting a new year of my life with this reminder.

2 thoughts on “Tomorrow is my birthday

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