mental health

I’m just so tired all of the time

The title says it all. I had big plans for when Mike went to bed on Wednesday go to the gym, get some laundry done, relax and read…. I went to bed at 6:30. So clearly none of that happened. And then, of course, I woke up around 11:30 and was wide awake. I went and set up camp on the couch where I read (just finished Radium Girls which was super interesting), played some Candy Crush, browsed Reddit… and then I fell asleep around 3:30. The last thing I remember was hearing Mike’s alarm go off for the first time. Slept until about 8 Thursday morning.

Last night wasn’t much better – I closed last night, so I didn’t get home until around 10:30, and then I had to be up by 7 this morning as the HVAC guys were coming to do yearly maintenance on the furnace. Needless to say, I’m tired.

I still haven’t heard from my shrink, which is really starting to irritate me. Other than one instance where he was on vacation he’s normally a lot more responsive than this. I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing for now, I guess, and hope that this doesn’t get worse, because at the end of the day, I just want to go to bed and sleep as long as humanly possible.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still getting stuff done, doing what I need to do, but everything just requires so much effort. I straightened my hair yesterday for the first time all week (I’ve been wearing it up, which isn’t like me at all), and the whole process just exhausted me. And gave me a headache. I didn’t want to go to work at all. It just felt like it was going to be a long day. Don’t get me wrong, it was fine, but just long. Everything feels long and like it requires a whole lot of effort right now.

I haven’t slipped any lower, which is good, but this state of being is just irritating. It feels like so long ago that I felt normal, felt good. It was really only about a week ago. But it feels like forever.

I guess that’s it for now. Stay safe, friends.

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