week in review

Week in review – 01.17.21

Here we are again on Sunday night. It’s been a pretty quiet week across the board. I’m still teetering on the edge of depression, but we made a little headway toward the end of the week and my feet aren’t firmly planted in the episode soil. I’m feeling a little bit better, but I started sleepwalking again toward the end of the week, most likely due to stress. This is something that I’ve done on and off since I was a kid, and the best guess anyone has ever had was that it was caused by stress – that my mind just doesn’t turn off when I go to sleep, so I just get up and wander. We’ve long since had safeguards in place so I don’t wander outside, but that doesn’t mean I don’t do things like eat whatever I can get my hands on. I’ve online shopped before. It’s a weird time. I’m hoping that it doesn’t last long. I always wake up in odd places in the house with weird things around me. For example, this morning I woke up on the couch, with my phone and iPad (smart me, as those had my alarms on it set for this morning), a mixing bowl, and a Nutty Bar wrapper. The whole thing is weird and I end up spending a good chunk of the day wracking my brain trying to figure out what I got up to overnight.

I’m taking a short break from working out. I just haven’t had the energy all week. I’m hoping now that I’m feeling a bit better I can get to the gym a few times this week and just even walk on the treadmill for a half an hour or 45 minutes. Just do something.

We had an incident this week where a friend was coming over, and he decided to invite two other people to come with him. I was barely in the mood for one person, but when three invaded the house I shut down. I got my stuff together for work the next day and went to bed. I spent another half an hour-hour on my iPad reading the news, poking at the book that I’m reading, playing a game, and basically hiding out. We both told him that that was a completely unacceptable thing to do. His response was “I thought you were cool with them.” Mike pointed out that it doesn’t matter if we are or aren’t, we didn’t invite them and he doesn’t get to invite people without talking to us first, especially because in this situation we both would have said no. Mike was well aware of how hard the last few weeks have been and how I just don’t want to socialize and generally just want to be left alone. My home is my safe space, and people coming unexpectedly is not something that I’m comfortable with. Needless to say neither of us were happy about this. But I think between me telling him it wasn’t cool and Mike chewing him out, he won’t be doing it again. In all actuality, he probably won’t even show his face around here for a few weeks as he knows he pissed both of us off royally.

I should find out tomorrow or Tuesday (Thursday at the worst case scenario) if I’m moving stores. I really don’t want to. I like where I am. I’ve built relationships with my employees and mutual understandings of how things are going to work. We’ve got a good system in place. This is probably the most stressful thing in my life right now (hell, might even be why the sleepwalking started again), and I’m not enjoying it. I thought we were going to find out last week, only to be told nope, it’s this week. The thing that would suck the most is that there’s so much information I would have to leave for whoever took my place, and I know I’m going to miss things. I keep an updated running Word doc of things someone would need to know if they were filling in for me either in a pinch or long term (if I got sick, had to help at another store, ultimately had to move stores, or whatever). Hell, I’ve thought of three things to add since I sat down and started to write this.

I guess that this snapshot of my week is over. I hope everyone has a good week. Stay safe, friends.

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