Another day another dollar. I managed to get a solid 8 hours of sleep last night, uninterrupted, and in bed instead of on the couch. I got up with some difficulty and a little later than I had wanted to, but I still got up on time and was able to be a little early to work. I felt good today, too. I’m tired now, but I’ve also been up for 12 hours and logged more than 13k steps. But I’m slowly getting used to this increase in physical activity while at work. I’m actually thinking about getting a quick workout in tonight before I go to bed. But you know what they say about the best laid plans.
For a brief moment this week I was slightly convinced that I had tardive dyskinesia, but I think it’s really just fidgeting or ADD. When I get bored I drum my fingers; move my nose, mouth, or tongue around, but I also do things like play with my hair or fuss with my rings, which makes me think that it’s more of a fidgeting thing rather than something clinical. Probably nothing to worry about, right? Probably.
Sometimes it scares me how quickly I seem to move on from things – death, heartbreak, disappointment, whatever. Watson has been gone almost two weeks and I barely notice that he’s not there sometimes. Is that wrong? Does it make me a bad person? The same thing happened when my aunt died a few years ago – after a few days I was back to pretty much normal. It’s not that I don’t grieve or miss them, but life goes on, right? I don’t understand when people years later are still totally broken up about a death. Maybe it’s because I try to live more in the present and not dwell on the past more than I have to. I don’t know. I’ve actually had conversations with therapists or psychiatrists trying to figure out if this made me a sociopath or a psychopath, to which I was told a resounding no. I guess it’s just weird for me to see people 20-some years after a person has passed for someone to be a wreck on their birthday, or the anniversary of their death, or whatever. I think it’s because I always have viewed it as death is an inevitability and there’s no use in dwelling on it.
I haven’t been paying as close attention to the impeachment hearings as I probably should have, but when I watch the daily recaps when I get home from work, I’m always kind of baffled that there are still Republicans that refuse to go against Trump. When did he become some kind of political mob boss? He has no power now, and probably isn’t likely to in the future (or so I hope). It’s just such a cult of personality that I just don’t understand. Of all of the politicians, or even people in this world, this is who people rally behind?
You know, sometimes I wonder how I ended up on the path that I’m on – how and why I’ve encountered certain people and how relationships change over time. Why certain people keep popping up in different contexts at different times. Life works in funny ways, I guess.
That’s it for today. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I’ll see you Sunday for the weekly recap. Stay safe!
Currently listening to: Love Drunk – Boys Like Girls
Currently reading: The Tudor Housewife by Alison Sim