Slept a little later than I wanted to this morning. I can’t seem to drag my ass out of bed when my brain knows it doesn’t need to be at work. Puts me a little behind this morning, but I’ll manage. I can get a few things done tonight when I get home as I’m off tomorrow. No big deal. I would have liked to get an earlier start, but I didn’t go to bed until late, so it’s not surprising, really.
I thought last night about the nature of mood.
It seems so stupid that some minor chemical imbalance can wreak so much havoc. Can cause so much pain, and hurt. Tiny, microscopic molecules have dictated the course of my life, the decisions that I’ve made, the chemicals that I put in my body every day.
It doesn’t seem fair.
When I’m feeling good, I often wonder if that’s what neurotypical feel like every day. Or do sometimes they struggle with sense of purpose? Sense of self? I wonder if people have the same struggles that someone like me does.
But then I wonder if there really are any “neurotypical” people out there. A lot of people I know, if not to the degree that I struggle, do struggle with anxiety and depression and other problems, even if they aren’t medicated or aren’t in therapy. It’s a silent struggle for them, too.
Or are we all struggling in our own way? Sometimes I look at so-called “normal” people and see what I want – happy people living their lives without care, and it’s easy to forget that other people have their own struggles. Sometimes those struggles are mental, some are financial, some are personal.
I guess my point is that we all need to remember that everyone has struggles, we probably just don’t know about them. We don’t wear our struggles on our sleeves.
That’s it for today. Stay safe, friends.