I can't believe that it's already November 1. Vacation is almost over, and on the whole it was nice. Spent a lot of good time with Mike, got a lot of stuff done around the house. I'd like to say that I feel invigorated, but apparently the curse of vacation still exists and my anxiety… Continue reading Week in Review – 11.1.2020
Tag: anxiety
Hello anxiety, my old friend
My anxiety is kicking hard core today. I once made the comment that anxiety is how I know that I'm alive. Not wrong. But it's in overdrive today. There are kind of reasons, but this is not a normal response. I feel like I'm in fight or flight mode. And I hate this feeling. Okay,… Continue reading Hello anxiety, my old friend
A little on insomnia. Alternate title: All I want to do is fucking sleep
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com Well, we're cruising into three weeks of relatively no sleep, other than Saturday/Saturday night. Unfortunately I can't rely on sleep meds when I have to be up early the next morning for work. I don't trust that I'll wake up in time and I'll spend the falling asleep time anxious… Continue reading A little on insomnia. Alternate title: All I want to do is fucking sleep
Let’s take a look back, shall we?
Photo by Moritz Bu00f6ing on Pexels.com Looking back, I first started experiencing symptoms of both bipolar and anxiety when I was a young kid. I think that my anxiety really started to manifest before I was even 10. I remember the social anxiety, the anxiety over seemingly insignificant things, the pressure from my family to… Continue reading Let’s take a look back, shall we?
“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
It's easy to doubt yourself - your abilities, your feelings, your mental state, hell pretty much everything about you. What's hard is being confident and having faith in yourself. And to have faith in other people. I doubt a lot of things, both about myself and others. I doubt that I'm good enough, smart enough,… Continue reading “The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” – Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.” – Dickens
Currently listening to: With You Around - Yellowcard I spent a good portion of the last few days examining my mood and what it is. I have been very personable, flirtatious, sexually ready-at-all-times; I've gotten a hell of a lot of things done the last few weeks. I've formed new relationships with new people. I've… Continue reading “It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known.” – Dickens
“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.’” – Edgar Allan Poe
There's a lot to be said about being in a relationship for almost 20 years. But sometimes... sometimes you miss the anticipation of a first kiss, a first (or even a third) date, a brush of hands, the conversations that happen when you first get to know someone. The feeling you get in your stomach… Continue reading “Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.’” – Edgar Allan Poe
Thankfully still not sick
Every day I wake up and take a quick assessment of how I feel, and I don't mean mentally. Aches and pains? Nope. Fever? Nope. Cough? Nope? Chest congestion? Nope. Ok, good. Time to start the day. It's sad that it's come to this. What I will say is that people are fucking insane. The… Continue reading Thankfully still not sick
I’m actually…. feeling pretty good
We started the lower dose of the Zyprexa on Monday night. Tuesday was rough with the migraine. Yesterday I felt better. Today.... I feel like a million bucks. I got a good, solid night's sleep. I actually got up when my alarm went off. I woke up feeling restful and ready to face the day.… Continue reading I’m actually…. feeling pretty good
“Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.” ― Edgar Allan Poe
My sleep is seriously fucked up. About half the time I fall asleep quickly, but when I don't I toss and I turn and I get up to pee and then I have to get a drink and when I finally fall asleep it's fitful. I get up at least three times during the night,… Continue reading “Sleep, those little slices of death — how I loathe them.” ― Edgar Allan Poe
